It’s safe to say that the past five years of my motherhood experience have been wildly hard. But let’s be clear: hard does NOT equal bad.
Although this parenting journey was never even on my radar, it’s exactly what God knew I needed. Motherhood has transformed my heart for the Lord in incredible ways.
But as someone who’s fairly active on social media, it seems I’m constantly running into mommy accounts that either a) only share the positives/highlight reel of motherhood, or b) constantly complain about it/promote toxic mommy culture.
It got me thinking; when did hard become synonymous with bad?
Here’s the thing: raising tiny humans doesn’t come easily to everyone.
We are not all born with an effortless ability and instinct to mother, educate, nurture. Many of us are not Pinterest-worthy moms. And for some of us, it takes until that baby is in our arms for the nurturing light bulb to switch on.
Sure, there are those women who have dreamed of homemaking and mothering since they were young; I was not one of them. I dreamed of building a successful career and traveling the world. Truthfully, even marriage wasn’t on my radar.
And this is also how I know God has a sense of humor… because He gave me everything I (never knew I) never wanted. Rather than making me an independent boss babe with six figures in the bank, He gave me a devoted husband who works well over 60 hour weeks and two precious little humans that rely on me 24 hours per day.
It’s messy.
It’s exhausting.
It’s challenging.
It’s rewarding.
It forces me to constantly confront my own sinfulness, repent, and grow in the Lord.
AND IT’S REALLY, REALLY HARD.
But it’s ok to admit that, my friend.
Because hard does NOT equal bad.
Like many things in life that God calls us to, motherhood can be equal parts difficult and amazing. You can cry your way through the sleepless nights, the long and lonely days while also reveling in the love that pours from your heart for your children. You can acknowledge the pain of confronting childhood baggage you never knew was there and beg for freedom from generational sin while wiping tear-stained little faces and changing dirty diapers. And you can even bring your loneliness and exhaustion to the foot of the cross while still speaking words of hope and love over your children.
Romans 5:3-5 says, “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
Now, I’m certainly not comparing the difficulties of parenting to the sufferings of persecuted Christians. But in many ways, the road to godly motherhood is paved by suffering. Being intentional with our time, affection, and attention is hard. Cultivating a peaceful home amidst the chaos of raising young children is also hard. Add lack of community, isolation, alone time- whatever your deepest struggle- to the list, and acknowledge that all of those things together are really hard.
And then remember that we serve a God who pours out His grace daily over it all.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
Intentional motherhood and homemaking are not for the faint of heart, but dear sister, you were made for this. Through our Savior’s endless grace towards us in our weaknesses, He reveals His glory and transforms the willing heart. Endurance and character rarely come without hardships and suffering, but it’s in the refining fires that gold is brought forth.
Praise Yahweh, for it is through the hard of motherhood that we can learn to rely solely on His mercies.
With love & grace,
Natalie
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